Title: It's Good-bye 1/1
Author: Danielle
E-mail: PrincessCashew@hotmail.com
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Up and through The Gift
Summary: Spike reflects on the night of Buffy's death
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They belong to Joss
Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN, and whoever has rights to these people in court.
Do not sue me, I'm poor anyway.
Feedback: I would love it so much if you sent me some!
Distribution: Whoever wants it can have it, just e-mail me first so I can
come and visit.

It was 1 am. And still he stood there. Staring at her, his defeated Slayer.
She had fought the good fight. He should be proud of her. But all he felt
was empty. Cor, she was beautiful. He wanted to touch her, but he knew she
wouldnt have liked it. She would have been too cold anyway. He couldnt
stand to feel her and have her be freezing. He was watching her alone.
Everyone else had wandered off, he recalled hearing the word hospital and he
had wondered why no one had taken Buffy. She was growing paler; her lips
were no longer as red. Good-bye to the Buffy he knew.

It was 2 am. Some men came to take her away. They put her in a bag, and
zipped her up. Placed her in the back of an ambulance and drove silently
away. No sirens for the protector of the world. He didnt want to leave her,
not yet, but there was no way he could follow. Giles had come and led him
away. There were no words. He strayed from the older man, not wishing to
invade the mourning of others he knew were closer to her than he would ever
be. Good-bye to the friends he had almost inherited.

It was 3 am. He walked past headstones, wondering what hers would look like.
Would it say her middle name on it too? Was there some little quotation she
wanted etched below the years? He gazed at the dates that appeared on them.
Were there any other 20-year-old girls for her to lie with for eternity in
the same ground? He hoped there werent with as much passion as he hoped
there were. He didnt want her to be alone here. But those girls should be
at university, dancing on Friday nights, kissing boys. Hed wished hed
kissed her before all of this happened. Good-bye to the lost opportunities.

It was 4 am. He fingered the little tubes of lipstick and bottles of nail
polish. No black. This was her room. And shed never be in it again. He
wanted to pull all of her clothes from their drawers and smell her on them.
Wanted to lay on her bed and feel her sheets the same way she must have felt
them as she lain on them. To take something to carry around with him. But he
couldnt do it. It wouldnt be her place anymore if he did. Good-bye to the
place she called her own.

It was 5 am. Dawn had found him standing aimlessly in the room. She had come
and sat down by his feet. They just stared at each other for awhile. Neither
knew what to say. He hated her a little. She was so close to her sister. She
was the reason he was standing here lost without his love. But her eyes were
too sad and empty for him to feel that way for long. Good-bye to the girl
who was finally finding security in her world.

It was 6 am. He sat on the back porch smoking a cigarette. He threw his
duster over the railing. He remembered the night she found out about her
mother for the first time. Hed never seen her like that, not even tonight.
She had trusted him to comfort her. She had trusted him to protect her
sister. He would do so, until the end of the world. Too bad his world was
ending. Sunrise. Good-bye to the man who loved her.

Fin
Feedback? PrincessCashew@hotmail.com